O Pioneer!

I feel I am following in the footsteps of my doughty pioneer ancestors (I must have had such, no? )–I’m GLOWING with the satisfaction of having shoveled the snow off my steps and driveway. I had first tried to employ a young neighbor (who offered this service on our neighborhood list serve) to do the deed, but it appeared that this enterprising entrepreneur–AND his younger brother–had more shoveling than they could handle. So I went to work this morning, hoping it would all melt by the time I got home.This did NOT happen.
My commute home was tedious and long, with one of those malicious train operators who wait until the train is completely full to the brim and then (the cretinous REPROBATE)—OFFLOAD it . Which means, he tells everybody to get out, he’s going home for a drink. But wait, that’s not all! When the next train came, we were crammed in like sardines, and I was wedged against the door, so that I had to get out in order to let others exit–and then the TOTAL JERK driving train #2 closed the door in my face so I had to wait for yet a THIRD train. Lucky thing I have the patience of a SAINT, as all my friends and family know. Once I finally arrived home, I realized I would have to rush like a mad woman to make it to my ballet class. Which didn’t appeal. So, why not shovel snow instead, I asked myself, receiving a cheery answer in the affirmative.
Not that I haven’t done it many times before, of course, but I feel that it is particularly noble of me, being a silver haired widow–so BRAVE, so wistfully indomitable. In fact, I was worried that one of my neighbors would be so moved by this pathetic scene that they might rush over to help–how would I delicately repel their offers?
Luckily no such thing happened.
Dauntless pioneer lady, is how I see myself. Who will be SWIFTER to reply to offers on the local listserve next time.

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